Archive for the 'Humor' Category

I’m A Gazelle! JK Instructs Men On Pole Dancing (For the Ladies)

Here’s a fun Sunday breakfast video (for the ladies).  Jamie instructs men on the fine art of pole dancing. Meet “good-n-plenty” and “menage-a-trois”.  My favorite moves?  “Peek-a-book” and “I’m A Gazelle”. Happy Sunday!

SCAM ALERT- BIGBOOK dot EU SCAMS WordPress Bloggers – Sponsored by Marketers Gary Conn and Mark Mason According To BIGBOOK EU Sourcefiles

BIGBOOK.EU is SCAMMING wordpress bloggers. See April Winchell comments. They just copied and changed my article which was complimentary to April to read UN-complimentary, copied and pasted it to their own bogus ass website and then pinged her blog.

According to the BIGBOOK.EU source files which are hosted by WORDPRESS.ORG– the co-creators of this retarded, SCAM SITE are:

GARRY CONN – of GarryConn.com —- and also —- MARK MASON – of MasonWorld.com

If Garry and Mark did NOT co-create this site- they may want to pursue whomever did- because both their names are on it. And it’s a crappy thing to do to the WordPress bloggers- regardless if they are on WordPress.com or WordPress.org. Please spread the word about BIGBOOK.EU and it’s scam tactics.

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April Winchell Is The Bomb Diggety – RE: Obama Tired of Your MoFo Shit

Did you see this? April Winchell –  “Barack Obama Is Tired of Your Motherfucking Shit“. With mp3 audio tracks. Absolutely hilarious. I love April.  Her virtual vision… a Valhalla of mediocrity, where people could spend hours of their lives they would never get back.” And she’s all about “essential oils” too! 🙂 Anyone that’s been banned by Bill O’Reilly is a bitch worthy of your love. [ Related: @aprilwinchell / Tweet Credit: @zaibatsu]

Openzine! Create Your Own Online Magazine

And here’s another cool thing I found via Twitter: Openzine! Someone on their team added me to their “follows” list, so I checked it out. What a cool concept. You can create your own rag, mag or zine online by pulling in content from an existing blog, create new content; and  also create your own covers. Your new publication is then featured on Openzine as a public “periodical”. How cool is that? One interesting “zine” I discovered is “The Book of Letters” (published by Reverend Richard J. Mackin). It seems to focus on hazing known food producers e.g. M&M, Taco Bell, Funions (for example) about the ingredients, marketing, advertising of their products. Hilarious! And who wouldn’t want to ask McD’s the logic behind “supersizing”, or ask Heinz to explain what’s so freaking “fancy” about their ketchup right? Burning questions!

Check out Openzine as another way to publish your great idea, invention, artwork, charity projects, product or message (or in my case – RANTS). Have fun.

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GOD Is On Twitter! And Other Discoveries For Twitter Newbies Like Me

I’ve resisted the whole notion of  Twitter since its inception. Everytime I went to check out whatever fabulous “insights” other bloggers raved about – somehow I landed on the tweets that were talking about pom-poms or cotton candy. I left disappointed, and didn’t really get the point.

But a commentator on my article about Social Networking for Job Seekers,  inspired me to give Twitter a try. Yes, everyone can attest to the fact that there IS much “mindless chatter”, but I’ve also discovered some great folks that put out some pretty darn useful information for finding one’s way around the virtual world as well as the REAL world. And nifty Twitter tips! (below)

Feel Sorry For Me

Some of my favorite finds:

@MikeBrown. Mike has a FANTASTIC website about creativity and innovation. Trying to launch a new product, idea, innovation, a new YOU? Check out Brainzooming. Mike’s got tons of connections referenced all throughout his pages as well as useful videos, articles, books. Really worth the while and he is truly the very nicest person. A genuine help to everyone.

@sallyhogshead. Woman knows her stuff when it comes to branding, marketing, what works, what won’t and WHY (most important) – she’s amazing. She’s got the play by play on the Superbowl (and the big budget ads down-lo too). Check out her site RADICAL.

@bitpakkit. Bits and pakkits, advertising creativity, being transactional – consistently interesting. Guess where his site is? Bitpakkit.com. 🙂

@jorgebarba. All about WHY knowledge is power when it comes to networking, connecting, focus… plus some insight on NASA 🙂 His website: Stratige.

@danschawbel. Dan is an expert on personal branding and social media with many accolades to his credit. His site The Personal Branding Blog has many useful insights on how to go about getting where you want to be. We all have great ideas right? Dan shares tips on how to get aligned with your goals. BTW: One of my favorite articles is his discussion about Twitter.

@momku. I love Momku. I can relate, along with many other moms. Plus she’s funny. Her blog (entitled with my favorite letter) “The Letter B” is fabulous also.

@fireland. He’s rude, offensive, cutting, and I love to hate him (just kidding- he’s really very funny).

@tessaru. The most positive person on twitter!

@greatcooks. Truly AMAZING recipes in real time via Twitter. And a gorgeous recipe blog. Check it out!

@stillred. Just a really funny dude. And what he says can tend to be true. 🙂

@gstromberg. A fine grass roots charitable activist. Canned Water 4 Kids. Support them!

And of course, I did find GOD on twitter. See @god. I’ve been saying daily prayers- and he STILL freaking ignores me. Anyone interested in adding me to their FOLLOW list, I’ll gladly add you on my follows in return.

And if you are NEW on twitter like me, here’s some helpful Twitter Resources:

The Newbies Guide to Twitter

All About Twitter – On Mashable

Save Space On Twitter – Use TINY Url

Sharing Pics on Twitter – TWITPIC

About HASHTAGS

Twitter Colloquialism @ TWICTIONARY

RECRUITERS On Twitter – Job Leads!

Looking for Twitter-ers to Connect With? Search Here!

Haute Hatred? Misogynists Advertise Women In Fuck Positions – And Sell Big Time

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Apparently, it is a well known ‘not- so-secret’ fact in the fashion media world that if you promote ads with images expressly intended to marginalize women, your product will sell BIG time. So who cares right? But it bugs the bajeezus out of me to no end  – for the main reason that statistically, the ones buying the product 9 times out of ten are WOMEN.

Below are some examples of what I am talking about – and there’s many others. Though I am trying to muster up some kind of “gung-ho” spirit,  I really honestly cannot say that looking at ANY OF THESE ads – inspires me whatsoever to become an advocate of these brands. Just being honest. Looks like plain old misogyny to me. All the executives that “spearheaded” (no, pun intended) these brands are in fact NOT women. But they sure figured out how to play into the subconscious mind fears of the feminine populace – or something. Because their tactic is working.

Notice in these ads how very LITTLE is about the product – and how very much of it is about boobs, vagina, submissive posturing, spread legs, “come hither” looks. So what are they trying to say? And why the fuck are we listening to it?

How does a woman looking at these ads (and others like these) somehow magically “convert” into an enthusiastic buyer? Apparently, a whole lot do because women are where the majority of sales dollars are coming from for these brands, in about every single instance.

Yes, I’ve seen several arguments here and there by women that “pshaw” any  notion of being offended. These are usually the ones that will (publicly) remark something like, “it’s just an ad- get over it“.  A real example, my sister who graduated Harvard law school – and at the top of her class.  She’s the first one to take the “get over it” stance in public, but when no one is looking, she is also the first one to fight to the death for any kind of woman-hating agenda.  So I ask why do women who are so frigging intelligent do what these advertisers want them to do? Women approve and endorse this kind of negative messaging (and it is negative) – when they buy the products of these fucking asswads.

The question is why. Do these ads somehow tap into the collective feminine unconscious and project our secret desires? Or perhaps we remain silently BUYING these dumb-ass over priced products because they so well reflect the measure of own lack of self worth? Or maybe it’s because we women are cosmically destined to remain the Peter Principle poster children in the economic models of the advertising world. Or perhaps, we haven’t yet risen to our own occasion, or perhaps we’re afraid to buck the system?

Or perhaps, the marketeers are right. Maybe it’s just true that the majority of women really DO like graphic, sometimes violent, negative imagery of other women. It’s so far proven successful. And the fashion and beauty ads just keep on getting more pornographic because we tell them with our buying dollars – WE FUCKING LOVE TO GET FUCKED so your chauvinistic, misogynist executive team can tout big gains on their quarterly. The numbers don’t lie right.

Of all the below, American Apparel is probably the worst offender. In doing some research on them, I discovered they actually incorporated originally in Delaware (big fucking surprise – tax haven of the universe), also, that their CEO Dov Charney was recently slapped with a sex suit – for waltzing about naked on the job – or close to it. Also for suggestive correspondence such as memo-ing employees to “come masturbate” – in his office.  “Hey Dov – Why don’t you just start an off-shoot amateur porn Website already? – Copyranter

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Blagojevich: Now Sports Pampers

First of all, the fact that Blagojevich scammed constituents and manipulated his position of authority to retain political power is despicable enough. But can you believe he’s actually WHINING about being held accountable for doing so?  On video. (Full Article: Washington Post )

“How can you throw a GOVERNOR…elected twice by the people, OUT OF OFFICE …. who is clamouring and begging and pleading with you to give him a chance … to prove his innocence.”  —

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Yes boo-fucking-hoo Blagojevich. We’re getting our violins right now. And what a retarded question to ask. You are being thrown out of office because you deserve to be.

Don’t politicians KNOW their every act is under public scrutiny? People are fairly well fed up with the bullshit posturing by our public “leaders”. Right now I’m guessing there’s about ZERO empathy for Blagojevich, among others still in elected roles of the same ilk.

But to be honest, I probably wouldn’t have remarked at all had he not attempted to play the martyr by comparing himself to Gandhi, Dr. Martin Luther King, JR, and Nelson Mandela (video ). Astounding.

Related: Blagoneovich (Amptoons)


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